Here, kitty kitty

I have a whole new respect for teachers, students can be a difficult and trying bunch, and this teacher has to take a time out!

So, Dating for Young Dummies should be the title of this digest, but that might be too harsh for some kittens still wet behind the ears. Although some Thundercats like to fancy themselves grown, they still tend to stray and lose their mittens, if not the sense they were presumably born with!

Let's talk about acknowledgment. So young, old, married, dating or simply trolling for talent on the ole Internet, folks like to be acknowledged. Makes them feel good, wanted, special and all that good self esteem building kinda good. So while some shade-tree wannabe philosopher/lover/pimp may have told you that telling a girl/young woman or member of the better sex that they were pretty/ important/ missed/ special/ smart would only spoil a woman and have her thinking she's in control of your heart--was a damn fool and you are a bigger fool for believing that rubbish! There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to matters of right and wrong and making someone feel valued. Showing someone they mean more to you than last night's game score, or getting through to the next level on that video game, goes a long way toward scoring look-at-me-I-can-do-it-by-myself-because-I'm-a-big-boy points with your Cougar. She's supportive and eager to help you and show you off, what's your problem? Tell her and, more important, show her you like her, already. Or she'll be gone. Period.

This teacher realizes that the age difference, coupled with not having come into your own emotionally, along with societal views and pressures or the ole what-will-they-think attitude looms large in in a Thundercat's world, but those same pressures are there for the Cougar in your life. She has to contend with her friends, peers, family and the judging eye of those half her age wondering what she's doing with you too! So, maybe you don't normally bring your girls around your friends, or you're used to just hanging with the boys, or maybe you kinda view your Cougar as a jump off (for the non hip to modern lingo, that would be the chick on the side or get-with, pass around, etc.)--whatever the case may be, she may think more highly of you and you will feel better about yourself, if you put yourself in her Louboutins and acknowledge that she's in your world and like a real person, has feelings and needs. Enough about that. Let's move on.

Story time again. How do you track a cougar down? Well, you can be a Cougar Hunter which is akin to being a tool in my book, or you can simply be yourself, get up the nerve and approach her as you would any other woman you'd step to. Now, you may have to pick up on some signals that she's interested in you and more than just flattered by the fact that someone old enough, at times, to be her son is hitting on her and not the young perky thing standing next to her in the convenience store. Flashback to a friend's first May December coupling- or as we'll call this "Encounters of the Convenient Kind" (turns out our Cougar met her Thundercat at the 7/11)
Make small talk each time she comes in. Compliment her on her comfort food choices. Tell her a joke. Engage her in conversation. if she hangs around for more than 5 minutes after she's completed her sale, maybe you have a chance. She just might be into you and not just eager for conversation with anyone who'll take the time to talk to her. Then, one day get up the courage to ask her for her number so you can continue that conversation on the origins of Jazz or whatever conversation you were having. Call her (don't text her first or email her), come from behind the comfort of the text and go for it. And so the romance began. But this one did not end so well. Our Cougar may have been too much for this young Thundercat, or maybe it was just a cultural difference more so than age that caused the rift (The Thundercat hailed from a clan where family comes first and men ruled the roost even if they were still in Underoos). Or maybe the pressure of an overprotective older sister who thought our Cougar was desperate and disgusting for luring our young Thunderkitten down the dark side of mature-woman-love. Or perhaps, his young girlfriend was a safer, more passive and less demanding of this somewhat immature, if not intelligent and eager-to-please young man. Maybe it was the fact that our young kitten was dare we say it--a virgin (a danger zone no matter the age or sex)--and the experience just too much for his young, inexperienced heart. But before the road took an ugly, unexpectedly sudden and sharp turn, our Cougar enjoyed her young lover-- taking him places, introducing him to friends, going to the movies and dinner. But oddly, she didn't see the signs that he never took her around his friends or to places at times where he might be "caught" with her. Never took her home when family was around. Never headed out in the day and was much too willing to spend all his time at her place. Poor Cougar. Then after months of endless calls, late nights at her apartment, late night meetings in out of the way places, first-time Thundercat just stopped calling. The one place our Cougar could always catch him was at work, but he hadn't made it in, in weeks. Confused and weak, she called, and called until she finally reached him and without so much as a screw you, he put his sister on the phone and let her do his dirty work. Our young kitten was a cowardly cub. And so, rejected, crestfallen and distraught, our Cougar gorged herself on comfort snacks (from a different convenience store, no doubt), called yours truly, cried her eyes out and vowed to never mess with a Thundercat again.
Lesson to this story: don't settle, no matter how tempting or convenient the snack. Name brand and courageous cats are always a better pick of the litter--no matter what the age.